different History of Niue
notice to Students:
The content of this page is not serious at all and many
events described by us are not true. So for school assignments or research
use websites such as Wikipedia
But if you want to have get a "Fail", OK, go
After all the volcanic action settled
down, birds started
singing, and much before coconut crabs started crossing
Niue's roads, Polynesian sailors from Samoa and Tonga
couldn't tolerate that bloody rooster from Niue
(Pavarotti) screaming at 3:00 AM. They could hear the
bastard from there. So they decided to go to Niue and
put a cork in the animal's mouth. When the job was done,
they went for a walk and
liked Niue very much, so they call it "The
Rock" and stayed happy forever. (The majority then later
decided to live in New Zealand).
one day in 1774 the
"Intrepid" Captain James Cook was navigating
nearby, when he saw "Da Rock". He had a stiff neck due
long periods looking up trying
to fix the transit of Venus.( for some unknown reason it
was out of orbit, I mean, Venus not Cook). He then
decided to land in Niue but couldn't find a good
anchorage. The Endeavour tried 3 times to climb a reef and
that wasn't good to the ship. Cook searched different anchorages until he found the
worst one, called "Opaahi Reef". (The wharf in
Alofi is a much better place to dock ships, but Cook didn't know
it by that time). Also what Cook didn't
know was what about to happen next...
tried to put his feet on "Da Rock" but the
ferocious inhabitants of the Island feeling the
terrible smell from the crew (not showering for months),
started throwing spears at them. The legend says the
"natives" painted the mouth red, so Cook
thought they had blood in their mouths. But after
visiting Opaahi Reef ourselves, we have another theory
for the episode. It was not the red bananas that was the cause of
reddish in the native's mouth, but simple coconut
crabs. To support our theory we submitted ourselves (and the
coconut crab) to the test, which proved that
coconut crabs in your mouth are much more frightening than
bananas. Also it proves that I am much uglier than Captain
Cook. Anyway, a spear bounced on Cook's arm and
almost killed the intrepid. Shaken by the episode, he
decided immediately to
leave to Tonga to have a shower there.
with the rejection,
and bitten all over the body by coconut crabs, Cook named the island
"Savage Crabs", a name that lasted many years
until someone ruled that coconut crabs are not guilty of
anything, neither to be delicious, and changed the name
to " Savage Island". Some years went by and
another change was made, this time back to its original name,
which means "coconut behold", that in plain
English means..."How can coconuts grow on top of
But not everything was corals and palms in Niue.
Lots of things were missing, such as an airport, a
wharf, enough people, another generator, a beach,
etc.etc... Anyway, the most important thing missing by that time
was Christianity. During many years Samoans missionaries tried to land in Niue,
ending up with the tip of theirs outrigger canoes stacked inside
One day, a local called "Nukai Peniamina" decided
to do a PHD on the subject in Samoa, and came back to Niue in 1846
landing successfully on the north shore of the Island. The place
is called Uluvehi in Matulau (today very easy to go by car and
there are still some canoes stacked inside the caves).
Peniaminas was responsible for bringing Christianity
and peace to the Niue villages.
Before Peniaminas, Niueans were fighting for the 'Giant Uga" a huge coconut
crab living in the Tapu area of Havalu forest. "Ugabig"
as the crab was called, was a diner
matter of dispute between different villages among other culinary
subjects, suck as who cooks the perfect Umu and who will kill the
the grave of Peniamina is located beside the road North of Alofi
and can be visited by tourists free of charge.
In 1901, even the British got tired of Niue and decided to roll
the rock to New Zealand, which at the first said NO. The reason
behind this was a lack of tropical beaches and kiwis flying
around, but when New Zealand discovered the beauty of Niue and Its
people, things changed, and that famous phrase was pronounced: "
If it is for the well being of all kiwis and Coconut Crabs, as
soon as they don't kill each other, yes, we accept Niue".
1974, New Zealanders became very scared and aware of
team, capable of playing despite playing with buckets,
coconuts, or a ball, and decided to build an
airport. From that day on, Niueans didn't need to
swim to New Zealand to dispute a Rugby tournament. But together with the players,
their families, and cheerleaders, almost everybody decided to
leave, leaving the Island
with its actual 1600, 1599, 1598, 1597... inhabitants. Afraid of the
consequences (on Rugby games) New Zealand and Niue firmed an agreement
to live in " Free association" meaning that the coconut
crabs are owners of their lands and kiwis pay for it. Robert
R. Rex was the first Premier of Niue and spent 18 years learning
how to play Rugby, I mean, learning to be in power.
- Cyclone Heta almost sunk "Da Rock" and the destruction
was a severe shock to Niueans and their fragile economy. Anyway,
with the union and courage of its people, perhaps international
help, Nuie is now back on its
feet , stronger than even, better than ever, and greener than
ever, now just waiting for the 20.000 + Niueans to come back.
- Pacific Way Bar
attracts locals and visitors alike due to cheap beers and
good chat. I was told that even the Prime Minister Hon.Young Vivian
sometimes relaxes after his duties and makes a presence over there.
- The Fish Factory
is working at full force. Fish of all natures,
species, and sizes wait patiently at the door for you
to eat them. They are the best fish I've ever seen in
my life and we tried them. " Sublime" .You can
buy them by Kilo and take it to your place to cook the way
you want if you have facilities there. Also, you can
take them to New Zealand or any other place in special
containers ( I guess 20 kilos). The price is good
and the fish is excellent.
2008 - Visitor from all over the world went to Niue to see what the
Island has to offer. They couldn't believe their eyes when they
saw the colour of the ocean, the Wales swimming nearby,
the coast, the fantastic caves, the forests, the snorkelling and
scuba dive, the cheap price of the beer, the huge fish on the
diner table. Most left their nails mark on the tarmac of the
airport, because they just didn't want to leave paradise.
2020 - Niue is sinking near Alofi and
Avatele. There are so many
tourists on the Island that "Da Rock" can't handle it.
Willie runs out of beers on Sunday by 11:00 AM, a tragedy on the
Island for OZ tourists. To
make things worst, all Niueans living overseas decided to come back
at the same time. The NEW Air New Zealand flight, now arriving from 1:00 Am to 4:00 AM
every 5 minutes, runs every day of the week. It is
causing zillions of Coconut crabs and 20 million roosters to
complain about lack of sleep. In front of Alofi's wharf, 3.000
sailboats are waiting at their buoys to be cleared by customs, but
they are too busy processing visitor's driver's licenses. There
are no rooms in the caves and the government has to hire cruise
ships to accommodate everybody.
We hope this never happens to
Heta in 2004 left a huge trail of
destructions in Niue Island